Hardwood and Hollywood

GOAT Week: The Greatest Film Franchise

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Hardwood and Hollywood’s G.O.A.T. Week is a series of posts on various categories to be published in two-week period. Yes, there were so many categories, we had to do two weeks, not one! Here’s the schedule: August 7th – Basketball PlayerFootball Player; August 8th – Drama Film, Ending to a Film; August 9th – Sports Announcer, Sports Cult Hero; August 10th – Baseball Player, Movie Athlete; August 11th – Ending to a TV Series, HBO TV Series; August 14th – Movie Actor, Movie Actress; August 15th – TV Series, Album; August 16th – Comedy Film, Film Franchise; August 17th – TV Actor, TV Actress; August 18th – Musician, One Hit Wonder 

Mike Cortez – Fast & Furious

I’m sure the popular choice will be Star Wars or Harry Potter, both solid choices in their own right. My problem is, what if someone doesn’t like sci-fi or fantasy movies? They’re not dynamic enough to throw on in any scenario. This is where Fast & Furious excels. There are now eight movies and counting with each installment satisfying any genre you might be in the mood for.

Want a straight-up racing movie? The first two movies are for you. Want a little more drama seasoned in? Tokyo Drift might be your steeze. Tired of racing movies and want an old-fashioned heist movie? Fast Five was created just for you. Want to just watch two hours of unexplainable madness where Vin Diesel slowly evolves from racer/robber/international criminal into all out superhero? Please watch the sixth installment.

The franchise did take a big hit losing Paul Walker, my favorite character and the second most important in the Fast & Furious universe. Still, Dom Toretto is not to be fucked with. I know if it came down to it, Dom would fold Darth Vader and Lord Voldemort like lawn chairs, especially if family is on the line.

You cannot forget about family. It is one of the main themes of the franchise, in addition to muscle cars and Coronas, and makes it relatable. Is Dom a little cheesy? Of course. But he has to be. How else could he drop classic lines like this?

There figures to be another ten installments to this iconic franchise and I will be there each quarter mile watching.

Lenny Burnham – Fast & Furious

What Mike said above.

These movies understand the core of what makes a franchise great: characters and relationships. It’s cheesy and it’s ridiculous and that doesn’t matter at all. The characters are fun, charismatic, and heroic. Their friendships are full of genuine emotion, no matter how crazy the plots get.

Eventually, there will be a movie called Fast 15 about them robbing an illegal car dealership on Mars. And I will be 100% on board as long as it ends with Dom and Hobbs smiling at each other as this giant family gathers around for a rooftop barbecue.

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Dalton Baggett – Star Wars

Let’s be extremely clear here everyone: this category is for the greatest film franchise of all time. Not the best in a specific genre, not the one that has been around the longest, and certainly not your favorite. Now, let’s talk about my favorite film franchise that also happens to be the GOAT.

Star Wars. That’s right, it is subjectively, objectively, and whatever “–ively” you can come up with, the greatest. It’s quite possible that one of my colleagues has already written about the Wars for this category, but I wouldn’t know, I’m flying (Han) solo on this one. If someone already did write about Star Wars, well, it deserves two spots.

There are eight wonderful films in this franchise that are all so good there are endless arguments to which one is actually the best. I’d probably give you different answers if you asked me which the best was on different occasions. Usually recency bias plays a role here. Whatever the last one I’ve seen is probably my current favorite.

This includes the prequels as well. I’m not here for you to try and tell me they suck. They’re not perfect, but they’re Star Wars, so they are prefect, you feel? If you want to try and argue that they actually aren’t YOUR Star Wars I’m going to assume you were born circa 1970, voted for Trump, and hate Rey because she’s a “Mary Sue,” which is actually an angry middle-aged man term for “strong female lead that intimidates me.”

I digressed there, but yeah, the prequels are good. Let me hit you with a quote from Fanboys: “You gotta keep the flaws. Crappy effects. Real puppets. That’s what makes it so good, you know?”

Star Wars is the GOAT film franchise, and I’ll plug my ears and hum obtrusively if you try to tell me any different.

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