Culture of Hoops

Cavs Send Kyrie to Boston: Where Were You When the Trade Went Down?

Screen capture courtesy of the NBA YouTube.

Screen capture courtesy of the NBA YouTube.

Holy Hell!

I was driving home from a rough day at work when my left pocket started vibrating like crazy.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

I had to pull over to the side of the highway to check my phone, because I thought it was an emergency. Turns out, it was.

In the grand scheme of things, nothing mattered more than what I was about to discover. My life was preparing for this… like when my grandma still reflects on JFK. This is one of those moments when we will all look back and remember where we were when we heard the news that Kyrie Irving was traded to Boston for Isaiah Thomas (and a truck load of assets).

I sat in my Toyota Corolla and watched the sun dip behind the horizon, knowing full well that tomorrow’s NBA will be different. SportsCenter will be gridlocked, just like the traffic getting home. Only unlike the traffic of people texting their Aunt Linda or Uncle David, tomorrow morning’s sports broadcast will be dominated wall-to-John-Wall with this trade.

So, I sat there, in my car, and took it all in. Different time. Different NBA. My mother would be horrified. She would invoke Patrick Ewing and his elbows, but then she would move on to Murder She Wrote.

Pasta Primavera

I put the car in drive and tried to cruise home to eat supper and see my lady, but I know tomorrow will be a weird day. I will wake up and try to feel normal, but Kyrie Irving’s killer cross over will be wearing Celtic green. Can you imagine it?

As a New York Knicks and Orlando Magic fan, this will hurt. As an NBA fan and a self titled LeBron James hater, this will feel like Hanukkah. Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech haolam, hamotzi…

You gotta give it up to Cleveland for snagging a top five PG talent in this mess. Isaiah Thomas is a true warrior. The Celtics started their rebuild with him, and I personally think they will muck up the team dynamic by trading him, but in this modern NBA, if you aren’t in the Finals, you are scratch trash.

Any NBA fan, especially those fans who like regular teams, are either scoffing, laughing maniacally or systematically rejoicing. Sure, this breaks up Cleveland, but it doesn’t break up the East.

A King’s Ransom

Kyrie is amazing. Top two PGs in this league, but the Cavs won this trade. Everyone has to admit it. The Cavs got forward Jae Crowder, center Ante Zizic, and a 2018 first-round draft pick from the Brooklyn Nets and we all know Brooklyn sucks on many levels. Just ask the poets.

Since Irving made his stunning request, the Cavs have been looking for a trade partner. They found the perfect one in the Celtics. They traded a top tier for a top tier, and I wonder if Isaiah is mad.

In Conclusion

Irving has three years and $60 million left on his contract, but he can opt out of the final year before the 2019-20 season. Thomas has spent the offseason recovering from a right hip injury.

IT2 led the Celtics to the best record in the Eastern Conference, averaging 28.9 points and 5.9 assists over 33.8 minutes per game during the regular season. Irving’s first regular-season game for Boston will be against Cleveland, and Thomas, as the Cavs will host the Celtics on Oct. 17 – a date being circled by fans already.

Either way, I almost crashed my car and choked on pasta, because that day will live on in infamy as one of the most storied days in the history of the association. Luckily, I made it home, but I can’t fucking believe Kyrie is now on the Celtics!

You’re welcome. Sweet dreams.

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