Culture of Hoops

Franken-QB: Building the Perfect Quarterback

Image courtesy of Mike Morbeck/Flickr.

Image courtesy of Mike Morbeck/Flickr.

A bit of knowledge that is of very little use: Frankenstein is the name of the scientist, not the monster. The monsters name is actually Carl. Ok, I made the last bit up, but it’s almost Halloween and I figured what better time than to imagine building a mismatched quarterback out of bits and pieces of the best the current game has to offer. Shall we start from the bottom my dear Igor?

FeetTony Romo – There are a lot of scrambling quarterbacks in the NFL, but none evade pressure the way Romo does. Watch the film of Romo from any number of games and you’ll see him get away from a player that has him dead-to-rights. He even spun away from J.J. Watt! Monster away.

LegsCam Newton – This was a toss-up between Newton and Colin Kaepernick. I went with Newton because he has just a touch more speed and length. Either guy is more than capable of going stride for stride with many of the wide receivers in the game today. Monster away fast.

TorsoBen Roethlisberger – Big Ben earned that nickname for his big game play and his large stature. His sheer mass allows him to keep plays going longer than they should because he’s such a load to bring down. Monster still going.

ArmAaron Rodgers – Is there anyone in the league that throws a better ball than Rodgers? I can only imagine how far he can throw it when he wants to, especially after that visit from Hanz and Franz. Monster throw far.

FaceTom Brady – I wouldn’t want my Franken-QB to be lonely. I questioned whether or not to use Mark Sanchez here, but I decided to limit myself to starting quarterbacks. I guess my monster will have to settle for Giselle Bundchen. Monster pretty.

BrainPeyton Manning – He’s really an offensive coordinator playing the quarterback position. I’ve never seen a QB understand the game, a game plan and a defense better than Manning. Monster smart.

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

To Top