(American Horror Story: Freak Show pseudo news article from Jupiter, Florida)
During a self-motivating workout in his playroom turned body-sculpting studio, Dandy Mott makes a promise to America. And his mother, Gloria Mott, will no longer be able to hold him back.
“She can’t keep my greatness in the slips,” Dandy proclaims in tighty whities between workouts. “One door closes, another opens,” he continues. Dandy recently attempted to join the local freak show and was rejected, causing further frustration.
“This body is America. Strong, violent, and full of limitless potential,” Dandy says. His determination is resilient, and would be inspirational, if this limitless potential wasn’t referring to murder.
But what is a man with a stone cold heart to do? “When Dora died, she looked right into my eyes, and I felt nothing,” Dandy admits. This is horrid news for the town of Jupiter that just ended a curfew following the death of Twisty the Clown. The townspeople have breathed a sigh or relief and are resuming life as usual. But it’s now clear Twisty was just the tip of the dunce cap.
A mass murderer is still among us. “The clown was put on Earth to show me the way, to introduce me to the sweet language of murder,” Dandy says in admiration. Then, his tone changes, “But I am no clown. I am perfection.”
Dandy is a bigger threat than the murderous Twisty. At least Twisty looked like a derailed mess and could be picked out like a sore thumb. Dandy is a good-looking, well-off young man. He could be standing in line at the grocery store and no one would know until it was too late. This is an unlikely circumstance, however, as Dandy has probably never stepped foot in a grocery store before.
When confronted about her son’s issues, Gloria is lax and forgiving. “These mental perversions are the afflictions of the extremely affluent,” she says, after helping her troubled son bury the body of their long-standing, now former housemaid, Dora. Gloria blames inbreeding for these persisting perversions. For the mighty rich, inbreeding is the only way to preserve bloodlines and money. Jack the Ripper was a Windsor after all, she adds.
Not-so-dandy Dandy has already claimed one victim, as his new and improved killing machine self, a male prostitute he met at a local bar. He stabbed the man repeatedly after bringing him back to Twisty’s bus in the woods, and playing a little game of “let’s get undressed, count to three, turn around, and see what happens.” He did show weakness when he had trouble getting the man to actually die, asking him why he wouldn’t die and admitting it was making him feel bad. But Dandy continued sawing the man’s arm, leading to his death.
Dandy is completely insane and we should all be scared, especially Bette and Dot, the newest guests at the Mott residence. These developments are turning into a true American Horror Story. “I am greatness. I am the future,” Dandy says. “And the future starts tonight.”