Culture of Hoops

Would Someone Please: NFL Edition

Image courtesy of Erik Daniel Drost/Flickr.

Image courtesy of Erik Daniel Drost/Flickr.

Would someone please inform the rest of the NFL that the St. Louis Rams are for real? OK, the Rams sport an unassuming record of 5 – 7, but this team should be scaring you if you have them on the schedule. The Rams easily have one of the toughest schedules to date. Since their bye week the team has faced one team with a losing record (the Oakland Raiders), and have beaten the Seattle Seahawks, San Francisco 49ers, and Denver Broncos. Keep in mind this is all being done with the second string quarterback. This team is my early playoff sleeper for next year, don’t get caught napping.

Would someone please remind die hard sports fans that the season isn’t over? OK, maybe it is if your team is named the Oakland Raiders, Jacksonville Jaguars or New York Jets, but still; there were a lot of devastating losses over the weekend that dramatically changed teams’ playoff futures. While the season is far from over in the NBA and NHL, the NFL is winding down, and each game is becoming increasingly more important. If your team is out, now is the time to review and come up with ideas about what you’d like to see the team do in free agency or the draft. You can write it all down and send it anywhere you like, because chances are your team will do the exact opposite just to frustrate you.

Would someone please ask the Oakland Raiders to pretend to be football players? The win against the Chiefs on Thursday night was huge for the Faiders (not a typo). The team then had an extra long week to prepare for the Rams. I picked the Faiders (still not a typo) to win that game, as I figured the emotional boost and extra long week to prepare would give them the edge. 52 points later my hypothesis was shattered like the Oakland defensive line. Guys, you’re a crap team, I get it. I’m not asking for wins, I’m asking for competitive football. Am I asking for too much?

Would someone please tell Johnny Manziel that he will not be getting the start this week? “Look, Johnny, you had a nice drive the other week against the Buffalo Bills, but you’re far from being an NFL-ready quarterback. Sit on the bench and learn something about the game, sportsmanship, and class before you think about a starting role. Come back next year ready to work and you might earn it. Until then take pride in that bench seat, because, to be honest, you’re a little lucky to have earned that.”

Would someone please tell Odell Beckham to quit showing off? As if “the grab” wasn’t sick enough, the standout rookie receiver was caught on camera spinning a ball on the turf, and hitting 31-yard field goals in the practice facility. Beckham was actually a soccer star as a child, so I get the ability, but still. You’re an amazing athlete – we get it already! You make my accomplishments of throwing popcorn into my own mouth 10 times in a row seem a bit less impressive.

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