Culture of Hoops

NBA Celebrity All-Star Game:The Stars Come Out to Shoot, Shine, and Drop Dimes

Image courtesy of the NBA.

Image courtesy of the NBA.

NBA Celebrity All-Star Game Rosters:

Michael Smith’s West Team:
Miles Brown (actor)
Tom Cavanagh (actor)
Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks owner)
Baron Davis (NBA legend)
Andy Grammer (recording artist)
Jiang Jinfu (actor, model)
Anthony Mackie (actor)
Romeo Miller (actor, recording artist)
Hasan Minhaj (actor, comedian)
Master P (actor, recording artist)
Candace Parker (Los Angeles Sparks)
Aarón Sánchez (celebrity chef)

Michael Smith (ESPN host)
Draymond Green (Golden State Warriors)
Rocsi Diaz (television personality)

Jemele Hill’s East Team
Brandon Armstrong (former NBA D-League player and social media star)
Win Butler (musician)
Nick Cannon (actor, recording artist)
Rachel DeMita (NBA2K TV personality)
Ansel Elgort (actor, recording artist)
Marc Lasry (Milwaukee Bucks owner)
Caleb McLaughlin (actor)
Peter Rosenberg (media personality)
Oscar Schmidt (Basketball legend)
Lindsay Whalen (WNBA player)
Jason Williams (NBA legend)
Kris Wu (recording artist)

Jemele Hill (ESPN host)
Kyle Lowry (Toronto Raptors)
Fat Joe (recording artist)

The NBA Celebrity All-Star Game is always a rewarding risk.

I raced home, almost losing my phone in the process, just to get back in time for the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game. Aside from the All-Star game itself, the Three-Point Contest and the Dunk Contest, the Celebrity Game is the most entertaining spectacle of the weekend.

Get Famous

This contest pitted realish celebs like Nick Cannon against indie celebs like last year’s MVP Win Butler and then mixed in some serious pseudo celebs like personalities from China and even a guy who outright impersonates basketball players on YouTube. This shit makes me miss Kevin Hart. And the game reiterated this sentiment.

The first note is the teams had too many coaches consisting of current basketball players, rappers, and ESPN color commentary peeps; it is not called a mess hall for nothing. The whole broadcast kept going to Draymond Green, who was wired for sound, and who was also always talking to some kid whose presence makes me think where the hell is his parents. Every All-Star party there is a random kid demanding airtime and headlines.

Get Serious

It seems like the NBA All-Star festivities are always in New Orleans. And it also seems like a few players want and deserve MVP status. This year, again, Win Butler scored the most points and rebounds. New comer caller woman, Michelle Beadle, was doing her best to insult everyone. We get it, Michelle, the celeb game ain’t serious, but let it be fun instead of deprecating.

Get To It

Honestly, I fell asleep during the game. The NBA should try harder to get better celebrities. Let’s see Denzel Washington Vs. Allen Iverson,Vince Vaughn Vs. Will Ferrell, or Beyonce Vs. anyone. There is a chance, if the celeb isn’t pregnant, for the NBA to do a little bit better. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid from Stranger Things, but I would rather a see a rapper who can play with a waistline small than Master P’s.

In the end, it is all about fun, but if I am falling asleep, just imagine how many people are changing the channel. This is the 15th anniversary of the celebrity game and I shouldn’t be falling asleep. The only thing that perked me up is the thought of Sage Steel cutting someone off, which of course didn’t happen because she was replaced by a snarky Michelle Beadle.

Get Last

Last and least, how the hell was Brandon Armstrong the MVP? Sure, he had 16 points, but who the hell is he? He is a NBA player impersonator. Also, Win Butler played a way better game. I love watching stars play sports out of their comfort zones, but the NBA Celebrity All-Star Game is getting ridiculous. We need better celebs and better competition.

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